i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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