so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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