Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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