It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
