I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
high people should be assigned attendants
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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