what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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