thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
