look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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