i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
