forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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