i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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