how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
