I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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