The maid of honor just puked.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
