I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize