He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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