we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
