So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize