i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
