if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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