I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
