I could make wine with my vomit
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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