This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
