Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
