I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
