I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
