is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
