WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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