Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
