are you so shy because you have an std?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
