So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
