Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
