I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize