also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Randomize
