Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize