I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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