Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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