that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
