I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
