it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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