Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
