I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
