Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my shit smells like andre
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize