What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize