sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
