id be glad to
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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