Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
