Say something about gay babies.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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