I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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