Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize