New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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