i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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