is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
