You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize