New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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