I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
