She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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