one might say we're banned from that church
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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