I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's always time for handjobs
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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