he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
