i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
