I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
