operation harelip BJ is a go
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
