You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize