I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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