you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
