I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize