And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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