i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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