i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
