When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I love having hate sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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