Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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