How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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