I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We have so much sex to catch up on
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
