the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Actions speak louder than pants.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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