Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
