need another drink. this is the easiest way
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
