Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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