Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
