Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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