At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
