how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
