i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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