Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Mom said you looked used
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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